The Art of Living

I am turning the “BIG 50’ on June 1st, and this causes me much reflection I must admit. Besides the typical “Holy Smokes! Where did the time go?” are the more important questions of:

• “How will I be remembered?
• How do I want to spend therest of my remaining years?
• What legacy will I leave?
• What are my priorities?
• Have I made a difference in people’s lives?

So many fleeting thoughts race through my mind daily about the remaining time I have left on this earth. It wasn’t until a few years ago when I sobered up, that I realized I wasted away precious time fighting the illusions of the world, believing the social lies that are fed into us daily, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second. We get so caught up in what society tells us we should be doing, that we ultimately forget to look behind the curtain of illusion to see what’s there waiting for us to take hold of it. What secrets are still waiting to be revealed to us?

I have physically and mentally fought to be where I am today (whatever that means because I’m still not sure where I am). What I mean is that I have earned every scar, every stress line and every grey hair on me. I made many, many bad choices in life, but I have also made good choices that I am very proud of. I believe the art of living, is being able to recognize the good, the bad and the ugly. It means being able to acknowledge the mistakes you made, make your amends and move on to better experiences with the lessons that you learned. Learning to live within the precious moments we are given because that is all we really have. The past is gone, and the future awaits full of possibilities, but what is it you are doing with the moments you have right now?

Stop and think about your life today as it stands in all it’s glory or disaster.

• What are you feeling right now?
• Is there something you need to fix?
• Amends that need to be made? The ripple effect of love and forgiveness extend further than you can ever imagine, so why not start right now? Is that disagreement you had with your spouse, kids or siblings that important to hold a grudge and foster resentment?
• Is jealousy really something you want hanging off your aura daily?
• Is being right ALL the time and having the last word truly necessary?

These are all petty issues and fall into the category of the five passions of the mind, those of which we all fall prey to due to human nature. These are: Vanity, Greed, Lust, Anger and Attachment. The art of living applies to recognizing these traits in yourself and taking the steps to change negative behaviours that affect not only yourself, but everyone around you.

Easier said than done; it takes constant self-reminders that certain reactions we have need changing. This takes time as we learn new behaviours and habits, so patience is required. Be kind to your mind in this long process and adaptation to change. For example: I wanted to start wearing little booties in my truck while at work, so the mud doesn’t come in requiring me to constantly be sweeping. Simple habit tochange – put some clean booties in my pocket before I hop on the shift bus to work. How many days do you think I sat in my truck THEN remembered the booties? 4. On the 5th day, I finally remembered to bring the booties, but only remembered them being in my coat pocket near the end of shift. The 6th day, I forgot again until the end of shift when sweeping the floor of truck. This bothered me so much that I wrote it on my hand so I would remember the next day. I was so annoyed with having forgotten one simple thing most of my 10 working days, that I berated myself. By day 7 through to day10, I had finally managed to ingrain the habit of bringing booties in my pocket and putting them on BEFORE I sat in my truck. I did this out of sheer frustration and determination to change my ways. When I returned after my 10 days off, I had to start all over again, but this time it was easier to remember, and it didn’t take me until day 7 to remember.

This applies to everything we do in life. Change takes time. Daily habits that we have been doing for years are very hard to break and alter, even in small ways. The question is: How bad do you really want it? When you set a goal that you truly desire to achieve, you are ready and willing to apply whatever it takes to achieve it. The hard part is when change forces you to alter your daily rituals. This we take almost as a violation of our privacy and immediately put up a wall of protection. The art of living is learning to adapt to the winds of change when they blow your way; even when they come in with hurricane force.

• What changes have you been going through lately?
• What hardships have come to rock your world and throw it off axis?
• How are you adjusting to it? It’s ok to sit back and let the winds blow for awhile, but sooner rather than later, you will be forced to act in conjunction with the changes whether you like it or not. Separation is a good example. How hard is the adjustment of the newfound single life after spending many years with a spouse through great times? Brutally hard to adjust to. I know because I recently separated with my spouse of 7 1⁄2 years. It takes time to heal and to adjust. Love yourself enough to self-care your way through the not so great days. 

There is no right or wrong way to live, and certainly no magic book to assist us through all the mazes we go through. Nobody has the right to tell you how to live your life, and I do believe that the art of living is a personal added touch of who you are as Soul. Your choices = your life reality. Years of nursing has taught me this: you think you have time. You don’t necessarily do, so live your life the fullest and cherish the time you have with those you love. I don’t want to go out of this life all polished and well preserved; I want to in the casket sliding sideways all battered and wrinkled, thanking God for living and saying, “Oh Lord, what a ride it has been!Look out HERE I COME!

Always grateful, Kathy Tuccaro